Last Week

So I just typed out a whole post about last week and deleted it because I feel I can’t quite get the right words out to describe it.  It was a sad one.  Once again, I was reminded over and over of the sadness of death.  Even though I know that death isn’t the end, it still hurts so much to see people suffer because of it.  Loss is tough.  Last week I watched via Facebook as Paul Coakley, a guy I went to college with, lost his battle with cancer, survived here on earth by his eight-month pregnant wife and their three small children.  I just can’t imagine and I tried to all week but I just couldn’t handle the thought.  My heart hurts for them. 
Image via Facebook

On top of that, the 22nd marked the 42nd anniversary of Roe vs. Wade; when our Supreme Court legalized the murder of innocent babies in the womb.  Millions of babies have been brutally murdered since then, all while our country looks on and calls it “legal”. 

So many questions went through my mind as I tried to wrap my head around all of the suffering the world carries with it.  “Why the Coakley’s?”  “Why not us?”  “What if that happens to our family?”  “What if one of those aborted babies, having been saved, would’ve finally found the cure for cancer and none of this would’ve happened?”  I know that God has a plan and, as hard as it is, in the end I have full faith and trust in what He’s doing and allowing here in life.  He knows.  He cares.  He loves us.  With Him is what we all want our final resting place to be, right?  Life is so short and the hope of heaven is a great hope and to that I cling in times of sorrow.

Saying all that is easy and I know it because I’ve told myself if a thousand times over but it’s still hard during weeks like last week to be happy, to find joy in things, to write about the latest silly project I’m working on, to see happy faces on social media…to keep on keeping on.  I feel like during tough times I have a constant cloud over my head, basking me in sorrow.  Of course, I find joy in little things like the crazy things my kids do but it’s hard for me to think about things that I feel shouldn’t matter.  I was working to try to finish our Christmas stockings and I felt guilty for sewing and doing something that makes me happy.  I don’t know.  I guess I’m rambling and maybe not making any sense but my point is that, I shouldn’t be unhappy.  I shouldn’t feel down-trodden if I truly know that God is in charge, that He cares, that He loves us.  Yes it’s ok to mourn with those who are mourning but for me to get stuck in a slump because of it isn’t ok.  I had lots of happy moments last week but I also had lots of moments when I didn’t want to do anything but sit and sulk and be sad.  Anthony went to the March for Life in DC for four days and so I didn’t have him here to whip me into shape and so the rain cloud it was a lot of the time.  I should’ve taken that sorrow and turned it into prayers for those like the Coakley’s who needed it.  What a much better way to have spent my energy.  And so, this week, I’m doing just that.  I’m not going to be sad and down, I’m going to be happy, do what I normally do, and offer every moment I can up for those suffering.  Will you join me?  Pray for the Coakley’s.  Pray for all the mothers’ in the world who are dealing with the after-effects of having abortions.  Pray for the doctors murdering these precious babes.  Pray, pray, pray.  And be happy.  Take comfort in knowing that you have a God who loves you truly, madly, and deeply (thanks Savage Garden).  And pray that one day your path will lead straight to Him. 

God bless you friends!   

.           .           .

If you haven’t already, please visit the Coakley’s Facebook page and read their story.  It’s truly inspiring and the testimonies of his life from those closest to him are amazing.  He truly was an example to so, so many in life and in death.  Some of the Coakley’s friends have also set up a donation account so, if you can, please give where it will be most appreciated!  Any amount helps!

#paulprayforus    #prayforann    #livelikepaul


  1. I just can't get over that photo of Paul and Ann in the hospital. It brings me to tears every time, yet I can't look away. I can only hope I can have the courage to live (and love) like Paul did, and the faith that Ann has. What an example they both are to us! And to leave a legacy of bringing thousands of people together in prayer–I'd call that a victory, even if it isn't the one we prayed for.

  2. I have been in the same place all week. Thanks for the gentle reminder to not get stuck. It is hard to not imagine that what its, especially when we appreciate life so much.

    1. I'm so glad you can relate Beth! I kind of felt like I was reaching out into the dark while I was writing; letting people into my crazy mind. :) So it's comforting to know I'm not the only one. I hope happiness has found you! God bless!

  3. Nice post. I also went over to your friend's FB page and viewed that video. So very touching. Praying...