XX or XY

I KNEW we were having a boy.  Just knew it.  The smart old wives tell that if an unborn baby's heart rate is low, it's a boy; if it's high, it's a girl.  That tale has held true for all three kids before this one so why would it fail me now?  So, I just knew we were going to have another boy.

Our ultrasound Monday confirmed that...

...we were, in fact, having a baby.

So, there's that.

And it also confirmed that it was a boooo..."girl"?  Wait...what?  Can you say that again sweet ultrasound tech?  "It's a girl."  Wait just a minute until I first convince myself that really you do know how to do your job, that you're not lying to me to play a joke on a total stranger, that you aren't in fact blind, or that you're not having a small Bruce/Caitlyn Jenner moment.  Ok there.  Now, tell me again.

"It's a girl."

Wow...a girl...okay...awesome!  I'm still trying to redirect all my thoughts about what I thought it was to the completely opposite direction but...a girl!  

I'll be completely honest with you.  I'm still only 95% convinced, even though one of those ultrasound pictures is pretty darn clear but I'm not ruling out the fact that there might be a boy hiding in there.  We shall see on b-day, won't we?  It has happened before to people I know so I won't back down on that 5%.

Three girls, one boy.  Here's the funny thing about that - Anthony is one of four - three girls and him.  Anthony's dad is also one of four - three girls and him.  Sebastian now shares the same fate.  I smell genetics.  I know science would scowl at me but history don't lie.

Anyway, we're having a girl!  We're over-the-moon excited for another little lady and I personally cannot wait to dig out all those cute baby girl clothes and bows I have stashed away "just in case".

But, once again, we're reminded of what lies ahead of us in our days of raising girls and how hard it's going to be considering the world we live in.  I'm not talking about things - how they're going to decide or we're going to decide which princess they'll relate with the most or what color will be their favorite or how girls supposedly having a tendency to like the swipe of the 'ole credit card which is not so great for parents on a budget.  I'm talking about self-worth.  I'm sure, if you're a woman yourself, have a sister, or are married to a woman, you know and you've heard/seen how tough it is for us women to love ourselves, to see our physical and inner beauty, to "add up" to what the media portrays as a woman.  We fall into the lie that we have to be perfect or have this much hair or eyelashes that are this long or noses that are this perfect size or a tiny waist and a big butt or a little butt or, or, or...  We use digital filters and smoothing and altering to hide what we don't want our followers to see and to make ourselves what we're not.  I ran into two articles the other day.  One was "How to Make Yourself Prettier on Social Media" and one was "How to Fake Self-Confidence".  I mean, did you know there are apps out there to smooth your skin to perfection, to take 20 pounds off your body, to whiten your teeth, and to give you a fake tan?  It sounds pretty two-faced to me - I'm this person on social media but this person in real life.  I mean, maybe smoothing your skin out a little isn't so bad, or is it?  Is it being fake?  What do you think?  Is it portraying something that isn't real?  And self-confidence...it makes me sad that someone would think to write an article on how to fake it.  Maybe we should be writing articles on how to love yourself more so that you have real, bonified self-confidence.  Boob jobs, lip jobs, lipo, botox, photoshopping away was is there or adding what isn't, hiding behind anything and everything so as to not age a day or to portray an almost perfect ideal that we are most definitely not - it's all becoming normal and even more scary, it's all those changes are being portrayed as things that are natural; things we were born with; things we do and then think no one will ever know about.

It's hard for me.  I just want my daughters to not struggle with their self-esteems as they grow into womanhood in this world.  I want them to be able to look at themselves in the mirror and see pure beauty; the benefit of being made in the image of God.  He carefully constructed you.  How many of you, after being handed a play-doh construction of something from your favorite person in the whole world, would take one look and quickly smash or remove or tweak something you saw that you did like.  Anyone?  Anyone?  I struggled with my weight growing up - I was uber thin - and was driven to drink wrestlers' weight gaining powders so that I'd never again be told in the most condescending ways that I was "too skinny" or "anorexic", as was stated by a stranger as cheerleader me walked onto a gym floor at the age of 16.  I believed I was supposed to have these perfect proportions, proportions that were very much not me.  Not only was I a stick but my legs were too long and my figure too boxy.  I wanted those perfect thighs I saw in Seventeen mag, anything over my 32A's, and a more pouty pucker.  If you gave me a million bucks back then and told me I could spend it on whatever plastic surgeries I'd like, I'm afraid of what I might've done to myself.

Thankfully, I've grown to love myself for every so-called imperfection and now, I wouldn't change a thing.  Don't get me wrong, it's tempting to download a smoothing app to hide some of those splotches or better yet, grab a round of botox to smooth out my ever-deepening smile and eye wrinkles.  But why?  So I feel better about myself?  Ok.  But is it so I feel better about myself because I think other people think I look better or because I'm the only one I care about?  You'll have a really hard time convincing me it's just and only because of what me, myself, and I think.  We're always trying to impress someone, right?  And why?  Does our happiness lie within or does it depend on others?  

 I guess I should take a step back though and tell you how fun I think putting on make-up is or coloring my hair.  I don't think there's anything wrong with using those things to accentuate what you already have.  I have a deep love for mascara, I admit it.  On the same lines, I don't think there's anything wrong with using photo-editing techniques and filters to make a picture prettier or give a cool vibe.  But when we're using them to add or delete things we think are "wrong", I think we're hiding behind them, using them to cover up things we don't want anyone to notice.  Bags under your eyes?  Own 'em.  A zit or three?  Own 'em.  I've never known a person who has never, ever had a little acne but if so, let them throw the first stone...or tube of acne cream.  I know.  I get it.  It's SO tempting to just grab an app to erase that zit that just popped up or to smooth my splotchy skin.  Even I'll admit that.  But why?  Because that's just not me so why would I lie and make people think it is?

I'm not meaning to come down on anyone who has ever used any of these things so I apologize if I sound judgmental.  I'm speaking as much to myself as all of you and I'm speaking for the sake of my daughters.  It's hard.  It's real hard.  But it's happier on the 'true me' side...the grass grows green without chemicals.  Perfection is not what society thinks it is - we've gone very wrong in that notion.  It's who you really and truly are before the masks and surgeries.  It's a big pill to swallow, I know. 

Usually I like cutting my head off selfies for the blog just because it's too hard to come up with a face of some sort and smiling is just too posed but for all intents and purposes of today's post, I kept my head on and my face make-up less so you could see the real me. 

 My hair looked pretty good this day but I promise you I didn't fix it for the picture - I was going on day three of it being unwashed and still curled from the day before.  If you want an even more natural look, picture wavy curls hanging in my face because that's just where they like to jam.

This is 100% me...no photoshopping (which, for the record, I never use to alter any part of myself...ever), no smoothing, no nothing.

    

If you get closer you can almost gaze into my tired eyes.

And even closer in you can see where Sebastian drew blood with a scratch to the upper lip three mornings ago, not to mention my splotchy face and those apparent wrinkles around my 30-some year old eyes.

It's all good though because really, I don't care what you think and you probably don't even care either way so it's funny that we think other people care and then go to sometimes great lengths to keep up good opinions that were probably the same at the point we started.  It's maddening, isn't it?  My body isn't yours and yours isn't mine so why would we compare?  My nose isn't Adele's seemingly perfect nose and hers isn't mine.  My butt isn't J. Lo's and hers isn't mine.  So who's telling me the two should be one and the same?  Ha!  Silly, isn't it?

So, let's stop the lies.  Please, for the sake of our daughters.  Let's stop hiding our so-called imperfections.  Let's stop using photoshop to add or delete and push for the fashion industry to do so too.  Let's stop using filters and smoothing and altering apps to cover up and change what we don't want anyone to know is there (I'm talking to you John Mayer...that face ain't that smooth).  Let's stop putting ourselves into boxes - too skinny, too fat, butt's too big, butt's too small - and focus on being our healthiest selves; different from every other woman on Earth.  You are beautiful.  So beautiful.  Beauty is not what's on the cover of Vogue unless you're just as gullible to believe that Barbie herself, in all her *ahem* humanity, is beautiful.  Beauty is what God created you to look like.  Let's not hide that.  I know a girl that got a nose job to make her nose more slender and it is post-surgery, but what it isn't anymore is the exact, beautiful nose her dad had, her dad who died in a car accident when she was young.  How incredibly sad.

 You. Are. Beautiful.

Don't let anyone, anyone, make you think differently, not even you.

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P.S.  WE'RE HAVING A GIRL!!!  :D

Happy New Year!

I'm not big on making New Year's resolutions.  As a matter of fact, I think I've made one maybe three times in my life.  Why?  Well, why start tomorrow what you can start today?  I get that it's a new year and so maybe that chunk of time can be well spent on improving some area of your life and I think that's great!  Maybe I just don't have my stuff together enough after the holidays to come up with a resolution.  Or maybe it has everything to do with the fact that, in my childhood, I used to make birthday resolutions.  Haha!  I was so weird.  They were basically the same thing as a New Year's resolution except I'd start them on my birthday.  The thing about them though is that I'd think of these things that I wanted to change in my life and I'd think of them in July or November or months before my February birthday but I'd tell myself the change wouldn't take effect until next February 18th.  Procrastinating my better person.  Yep, that was me.

I know.  Cue the well deserved "ha"s followed by the eye roll.

But, I've learned from those silly days and tell myself now that if I want or need something to change in my life, I'm going to start tomorrow.  "Tomorrow, tomorrow, I'll love ya, tomorrow, is only a day away!"

We just finished watching "Annie" and the girls loved it so you can't blame me.

Aaaanyway, what I stopped in for today was to one, wish you all a Happy New Year!  I'm not going to do a whole recap of 2015 because, even though it sounds fun to rehash what I got done (and the hundreds of projects I didn't get done), I'd rather a fresh start with a little re-introducion.  )If you want a recap, scroll down the side bar just a tad and you'll see the archive.  Lots of fun to be had there, I tell ya.)  ;)

I write mostly about projects and tutorials but I don't write about myself or hash out thoughts very often mostly because I don't have the time to do both and on the fun meter, projects always win.  However, the funny thing is that most of the posts in my drafts folder are heart-to-hearts - posts written after a thought-provoking moment that I just never finished hashing out.  Maybe I should make a resolution to finish those...  

Not today though because I grabbed a random little questionnaire that I found somewhere in the depths of the internet to unload on you.  My hope is for you to get to know who I am a little more (you can read this post too) and for me to get to know you a little more too!  I'd love if you introduced yourself to me in the comments!  Answer all the following questions for yourself or just give me a quick paragraph.  Or, if you're a blogger yourself, do the same!  Either way, I'd love to see who exactly is out there because as much as I can tell myself "I blog like no one's reading", I do that but I also know I have some pretty sweet people reading.  :)  

Let's begin shall we (throat clear)?

This, is me:

 

Sheena Tobin - oldest of five, love to Anthony, and devoted servant to Seraphia, Cecilia, and Sebastian.

A-train and I are currently expecting our fourth little bundle of crazy...

...and I'm a thinker.  Like my brain never stops.  I'm always seeing things and getting ideas and scheming how to do something with not a lot of money.  This is probably what I look like most of the time:

I decided to start blogging to have something to do while Anthony had his head in his books while studying for his masters'.

Since then though, it's become so much more than just a tool to beat boredom.  Like I said above, I like doing and making things with just a little bit of change.  We're on a really tight budget but I have a desire for a really pretty house and wardrobe and the two don't really mix...unless I can make myself there.  I know there are other people in the same boat and I also know that as a country, we could afford to spend a lot less on things and a lot more on people, so here I am, showing a few ways we can do that.  The more you read my blog, the more you'll realize what my idea of "affordable" is.  Affordable has zero to do with West Elm or Pottery Barn or even full-priced Target to me even though I love all of those places.  Affordable is concocting a kid's room for under $100 or making over a kitchen for $1100...or maybe that's just plain cheap but to me, the two go hand-in-hand.  Affordable has lots do with being patient.  It's finding something you really want and then gathering the patience to wait until you can save up for it or it goes on sale or you find it secondhand or until an idea pops up in which you can make it for a big fraction of the price.  I could write a whole post about what else I think affordable is and why everyone could embrace it but before I jump down that rabbit hole, it's onto that questionnaire...    

If you could throw any kind of party, what would it be like and what would it be for?  Ugh, parties.  I love them but I am definitely not a planner of them which is why you'll never see a party post on this here blog (I recommend Kathryn for that!)  I like simple.  I'd rather plan my next household revamp than plan any sort of party.  However, I'll admit it has been sort of fun in the past to plan low-key birthday parties for the kids - trying to see how much I can get for not a lot of money...no surprise there.

If you could paint a picture of any scenery you've seen before, what would you paint?  Really, I shouldn't be painting anything but abstract because no Picasso am I.

If you could choose to stay at a certain age forever, what age would that be?  Hmm...maybe if I was 120 I could better answer that one but right now there's a possibility that I have more than half of my life left so who knows what age will be the best, right?

If you had to work on only one project for the next year, what would it be?  Gosh, that question makes my mind go bonkers.  I guess if I had to choose, it'd be our master bedroom, specifically, whipping up that upholstered headboard that's been on the assembly line for too, too long.  

If you were immortal for a day, what would you do?  I'd take a huge flashlight (like huge) and go trolling around the bottom of the ocean for all sorts of treasure.

If you had to change your first name, what would you change it to?  Had to?  I've actually come to love my name (I wasn't a fan of it growing up) so that would be hard for me.  If you would've asked me this question when I was 10 I would've told you either Nicole or Valerie.  Now though?  Probably Fiona.  It's my favorite girl name that probably won't ever make it down to one of our kids because it screams "Shrek" to Anthony; not cute, sweet baby girl.  :(

If you could meet anyone, living or dead, who would you  meet?  Jesus.  Duh.

If you won the lottery, what is the first thing you would do?  Obliterate our mortgage...right before I bombed our student loans.

When you have 30 minutes of free-time, how do you pass the time?  Free-time?  What's that?

What's the hardest thing you've ever done?  Raised newborn twins.  Phew!

What was the last experience that made you a stronger person?  Raising newborn twins.

What is the best party you've ever been to?  Raising newborn...kidding.  That's a party of a whole different sort.

What did you do growing up that got you into trouble?  Anything I wasn't supposed to be doing that involved my youngest sister or that she found out about.  I love her now but back then?  Well, we won't rehash the past but let's just say she was that little bird always leaked info to my mom.  Info about driving home from school with my knees, doing cookies in a cornfield with my then-boyfriend in his truck, stuffing all of my clothes under my dressers when my mom told me I had to clean my room before I went to a friend's house, etc, etc, etc.......................... 

What do you miss most about being a kid?  Definitely not anything involved the above question.  It has to be living on the farm.  The (usually) carefree life and great outdoors.

The best part of waking up is?  That first, warm, sip of creamer with a side of coffee.

Old house or new house?  Old.

Heels or flats?  Flats or semi-low heels.  I know maybe this sounds ridiculous to some but I've got really long legs that look way too long with high heels.  We're talking like stilts.  Three inches is about as high as I'll go and even that height makes me self-conscious.

Favorite food?  Ice cream...and don't even tell me it's not a food, it's a dessert because it goes down the trap just like everything else.  So, it's a food.

Favorite color?  Green.

Best gift I've ever received?  Anthony.  He's the gift that just keeps on giving.  

There.  You can now claim to know me.  I have a real fear of coming off as fake and so I try to be as real and true-to-myself on here as possible.  I won't ever share something I don't like or don't know enough about just for the sake of a sponsored post or to get paid.  I feel like the blogosphere has become increasingly infiltrated with advertising and I don't ever want to become that here.  I want to share things I really love with you, things I pay good money for, things you might like too because they have a really good track record over here.  I want you to be able to trust every opinion I state and not wonder if I'd really buy that if it wasn't given to me or if I am not just saying I like it under the pressure of a good product review.  Maybe, and probably, this all means that I won't ever make big bucks off my blog but that's okay with me.  I write for the sake of sharing and teaching and that's it.  No ulterior motives here.

Thank you for reading.  Truly.  I'm so thankful to have this outlet and it's been a great source of therapy for me as I go through this stage in my life when all I hear most my days are toddler talk.  I love this stage but it does feel great to be able to contribute to the world in a 'more adult' way sometimes.  :)

I hope you all have a great upcoming weekend and I look forward to finding out more about you!

  

Merry Christmas!

So I guess my last post should've had a side note in it where I mention that I'd probably drop off the face of the Earth for the next two weeks since we're on Christmas vacation...not that should've had the stocking tutorials I said I would since Christmas was literally days ahead of us all and everyone already had their stockings up.  Rookie mistake or bad diy blogger?  I'm not sure.  Either way, I'll make sure to post that tutorial when it makes more sense; say next October or November.  :)

Really though, I'm just popping in today to tell you all I won't be back on the blog until next week.  We are taking it really easy with family and my phone has been dead for three days with no chance of me charging it because, honestly, it's been really nice to not have it around catching my attention with a beep or ring here and there.  I really should try this more often...we all should try this more often.

So with that...

and soon, Happy New Year!

Easiest {Any}Holiday Bunting Ever

I’ve always loved the idea of hanging bunting.  With that said though, I’ve never made or hung any because making and hanging bunting just doesn’t climb as far up the to-do list ladder as some of the other projects we want done ‘round here.  It’s life is lived on the back burner…

until now…

Yay!  Can you see it, can you see it?  (As I typed that, I heard Olaf’s voice in my mind…weird.)

I had this bright idea one afternoon and, literally, five minutes later, we had bunting hanging from the tippity-top of our tree.  It’s so easy!  No sewing, gluing, measuring, or fuss of any sort.  The Grinch would hate it!

Wanna know how to make some of your very own?  Well, if you don’t, click out because if you know me, you know what’s next.

All you’ll need are a pair of scissors, some sort of string (I used twine I had laying around but fishing string or a strong thread would work too), and some wire edge ribbon.  I grabbed this wire edge ribbon after Christmas last year on clearance at Michael’s but, even without the clearance price, it’s pretty cheap.  If you’re only using it for this project, even the Dollar Store will satisfy the need.

First, cut several pieces of ribbon.  The number you’ll cut depends on how many far apart you want each piece to sit once it’s on the string.  For an eight foot long strand like mine, I cut 13 pieces, each about six inches long (I didn’t measure but just cut the first one and cut the others based on that one).  I spaced them about six or so inches apart on my twine.  You can space them closer or farther; have more or less.  Imperfection is the name of the game and, in this case, anything will look cute!

Then, fold each piece in half.  

 Next, cut a shallow triangle out of the bottom of each folded piece of ribbon.

  And last, slip each piece right over your hanging string.  (It’s easier to add the ribbon after you figure out where you want the bunting hung).  Giving the wire edges a little pinch along the top of the string will ensure they don’t slide around.

      
So easy, right?!  Think of all the holidays and notholidays you can whip up a five-minute strand of bunting!  Pastel ribbon for easter, pink and red for Valentine’s Day, patriotic colors for the Fourth, blue and green to match the theme of your kid’s birthday…the options are really endless.

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We moved some small pieces of furniture around this year so that we could put our tree in the back corner of our living room and we’re really loving the placement.  It’s out of the way but it makes this corner really special (except for the red/cranberry club chairs…I can’t wait to get my hands on reupholstering or doing something with those).  As far as decorating goes, we’re done.  I didn’t add more lights to the tree or put on all the ornaments like I usually do because we’ll be traveling to see family for Christmas and so simple did the trick. 

But, I did go a little crazy, adding a little bit of festive to our thrifted glass lamps:

One has been finicky about turning on recently so I had to take it apart anyway to see what the deal was so I thought, “why not paint them?”  That’s a normal thought process, right?  ;)

Of course, we also set the sensory mood by plugging in our Wallflower; laden with the scent of Fresh Balsam.  I’ve had my wallflower forever but I bought this particular scent five Christmas’ ago and it’s still going strong.  We don’t keep it plugged in all the time, maybe a few hours a day, so that helps slow the depletion.

The hutch is decked with a thrifted wreath that I got last year and we recently acquired the brass elephant atop it.  You might remember the diy mercury glass vase that once was there…well, somebody (coughAnthonycough) caused it to come tumbling and crashing when he was sliding the hutch around one day so we could clean underneath.  It’s really my fault for not having it as secure as I should’ve up there but thankfully, no one or nothing was hurt except the vase and my feelings.

Anyway, I’ll be back with the other side of the room before Christmas.  Really it’s just the stockings and mantel over thataway but those are a whole tutorial post in themselves. 

I guess you’ll just have to HO, HO, HO…ld on.  ;)

  

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Because you know you want to pin it…

Light & Letters

Before I throw a couple of Christmas projects (I know, just in time forrrr…next Christmas) to the blog post mix, I thought I’d sprinkle in a few projects I quickly did in the girls’ room a couple of months ago.  You can see the full reveal and stencil tutorial in my last post, if you missed it.

Let’s talk about the fan shade first.

You might remember back when I whipped up an eerily similar one for the fan in our master bedroom a few years ago?

Well, you might also remember I kinda hated it.  It looked really homemade and I try to sway from that look when I’m creating decor in most cases.  So, down it came.  Using the same idea and steps, I grabbed the fabric from JoAnn Fabrics (can’t find it online!) and used some of the extra plastic I had on hand from making this shade to create the same thing, only much less wonky.

To install it, my plan was to have Anthony cut off all of the inside, metal rods except for a couple of inches on the small shade and only the middle ring part of the large shade.  The ring on the large shade was too thick for this fan – it would sit on top of the bulb and screw into the light bulb base just fine but not far enough to get electricity going to turn the light on.  Major problem.  So, I had him cut off the old ring and my plan was to put a large washer in its place, a similar idea to what Young House Love did here.  Except while he was cutting, he accidently broke off the rods from where they were attached to the ring.  Turns out they were really poorly attached to the ring and just broke off without much tinkering.  :( 

I cried inside but forged ahead in making the light fixture.  After the shade was made and recovered, I hot glued the rods back onto the large top ring.  Then I glued the ends of the rods to the rod pieces still on the small shade.  So far, it’s stayed.  To hang the entire thing, I grabbed some outdoor chain I had laying around and slipped one end over the rods on the small shade and the other ends I slipped through the holes on the actual fan that are reserved for the screws that hold on the original light kit.  I should take more pictures to explain that a little better but for hopefully for now it makes sense somewhat.

Here’s what it looks like from underneath:

It’s still needs some tweaking because its a little crooked still, but one of these days I’ll figure out a new solution.  I love it though.

And I love the fabric so much that I made a couple of matching pillow shams out of it to adorn the girls’ beds.  They were a trial run so I don’t have a tutorial on those yet but they turned out pretty good so I will definitely let you in on the know-how to those in the future!

And quick let’s just pop over to the stenciled wall and talk about those big monograms.

I’ll be honest.  The idea of them looked better in my head.  I’m not sure if that wall just needs a little more color or if I need to re-paint a fancier ampersand onto the mirror but something needs something.

The letters themselves are these paper mache letters from JoAnn Fabrics.  The quality is great and if you can grab them either on sale or with a coupon, you can get them down to almost $5 a piece.  The only thing that bothers me a little is that the ‘S’ is a little thicker than the ‘C’ so it almost looks like they’re two different fonts.  Maybe that’s what bothering me about this wall…don’t know.

They come in a tan color so I just primed and spray painted them my favorite gold (Rust-Oleum's Metallic Gold*).

I used velcro Command strips to hang them on the wall just like I hung these paper mache letters in our entry.

Like I mentioned above, I just painted the ampersand on the mirror with some gold and mint acrylic paint.  I love painting on glass and mirrors because, if you make a mistake or you don’t like it, you can just windex it off and start over!  I redid this one about fifteen times I think.  :)

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I finally finished our stockings and hung them on the mantel with care!  I’m really excited to show them to you and show you how you can make your very own!  Check out Instagram for a sneak peek!

Have a great weekend…we’re almost there!

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